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| Image Credit: "God creates the heavens and earth" by Carolyn Dyk – Wycliffe Bible Translators, courtesy of FreeBibleimages.org. |
Much of the tension surrounding biblical manhood and womanhood today does not stem solely from cultural rebellion. It also comes from deep confusion—even within the Church. The words 'headship' and 'help' have been misused. They are often reduced to blunt images. Headship becomes domination. Help becomes servitude. These distortions strip both roles of their God-given dignity.
God did not design order in creation to assign value. He gave it to establish purpose. The man was created first. The woman was then made to be a helper suitable for him (Gen. 2:18). This was not an answer to Adam’s lack of worth. It was an expression of God’s intention. The Hebrew word for “helper” (‘ezer) is also used of God Himself (Ps. 33:20; Deut. 33:26). That fact alone should remove any notion that help implies inferiority. Help, in its truest form, is wise and essential.
The word headship, in the ears of many today, seems to carry the scent of tyranny. But Scripture does not give men the freedom to rule as they please. Eph. 5:23 says that the husband is the head of the wife “as Christ is the head of the church.” This kind of leadership cannot be self-serving. It is shaped by the cross. Christ leads by giving Himself. He does not crush. He nourishes. He cleanses. So, biblical headship is not harsh. It is a weight carried in love.
The woman’s role, too, is often misunderstood. Being a helper does not mean watching from the side. It means contributing with faith and courage. In the biblical record, women were not erased. They were entrusted. Abigail intervened to stop bloodshed (1 Sam. 25). Esther stood before a king to protect lives (Est. 4). Priscilla helped explain the gospel more accurately (Acts 18:26). None of them lost their femininity by acting boldly. They revealed what strong, faithful help looks like.
Even in churches that affirm these roles, there is a danger of drifting into extremes. Some soften Scripture in an effort to avoid offense. Others become rigid, clinging to rules more than to grace. The Bible neither erases distinctions nor uses them to oppress. God’s pattern reveals order filled with mercy. True headship and true help work together, each bearing a part of the witness to Christ’s redeeming love.
This is not a call to preserve tradition for its own sake. It is an invitation to reflect the character of our Redeemer. Christ embodies greatness not by gaining control, but by laying it aside for the good of others (Mk. 10:45). In that light, men are called to lead with gentleness and courage. Women are called to support with discernment and strength. The design is not for sameness. It is for unity under God’s wisdom.
It must also be said that many have suffered under misused authority. When headship turns selfish, it wounds. When help is scorned, it silences. But Scripture does not abandon these roles because of their misuse. Instead, it calls for their redemption. In Christ, authority is kept within the boundaries of love. Submission is not weakness. It is trust in God’s goodness.
For this reason, the Church must be clear. We must not allow our terms to be redefined by culture or reshaped by fear. Nor should we wield them carelessly. Headship and help are not tools for control. They are expressions of God’s wisdom, meant to show His grace in every household and congregation.
In a world that erases lines and rejects order, the beauty of redemptive authority still speaks. It does not raise its voice to demand attention. It lives quietly and faithfully. It lets the gospel be seen in the way we love and serve. When headship carries the cross and help wears the crown, Christ is honored and God's design is restored.
God did not design order in creation to assign value. He gave it to establish purpose. The man was created first. The woman was then made to be a helper suitable for him (Gen. 2:18). This was not an answer to Adam’s lack of worth. It was an expression of God’s intention. The Hebrew word for “helper” (‘ezer) is also used of God Himself (Ps. 33:20; Deut. 33:26). That fact alone should remove any notion that help implies inferiority. Help, in its truest form, is wise and essential.
The word headship, in the ears of many today, seems to carry the scent of tyranny. But Scripture does not give men the freedom to rule as they please. Eph. 5:23 says that the husband is the head of the wife “as Christ is the head of the church.” This kind of leadership cannot be self-serving. It is shaped by the cross. Christ leads by giving Himself. He does not crush. He nourishes. He cleanses. So, biblical headship is not harsh. It is a weight carried in love.
The woman’s role, too, is often misunderstood. Being a helper does not mean watching from the side. It means contributing with faith and courage. In the biblical record, women were not erased. They were entrusted. Abigail intervened to stop bloodshed (1 Sam. 25). Esther stood before a king to protect lives (Est. 4). Priscilla helped explain the gospel more accurately (Acts 18:26). None of them lost their femininity by acting boldly. They revealed what strong, faithful help looks like.
Even in churches that affirm these roles, there is a danger of drifting into extremes. Some soften Scripture in an effort to avoid offense. Others become rigid, clinging to rules more than to grace. The Bible neither erases distinctions nor uses them to oppress. God’s pattern reveals order filled with mercy. True headship and true help work together, each bearing a part of the witness to Christ’s redeeming love.
This is not a call to preserve tradition for its own sake. It is an invitation to reflect the character of our Redeemer. Christ embodies greatness not by gaining control, but by laying it aside for the good of others (Mk. 10:45). In that light, men are called to lead with gentleness and courage. Women are called to support with discernment and strength. The design is not for sameness. It is for unity under God’s wisdom.
It must also be said that many have suffered under misused authority. When headship turns selfish, it wounds. When help is scorned, it silences. But Scripture does not abandon these roles because of their misuse. Instead, it calls for their redemption. In Christ, authority is kept within the boundaries of love. Submission is not weakness. It is trust in God’s goodness.
For this reason, the Church must be clear. We must not allow our terms to be redefined by culture or reshaped by fear. Nor should we wield them carelessly. Headship and help are not tools for control. They are expressions of God’s wisdom, meant to show His grace in every household and congregation.
In a world that erases lines and rejects order, the beauty of redemptive authority still speaks. It does not raise its voice to demand attention. It lives quietly and faithfully. It lets the gospel be seen in the way we love and serve. When headship carries the cross and help wears the crown, Christ is honored and God's design is restored.
Glory to God. The correct way of Thinking regards to Headship and Help through Scripture.
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